Relax, Take it Easy

Relax, Don't Do It

     Learning to relax and let go is one of the hardest things we have to achieve today. Ironically we find ourselves saying things like we have "to find time" to meditate or "make time" for ourselves or "schedule" some down time.

     In this post I'll be looking at how we can draw inspiration from our surroundings to find the opportunity to stop and use our environment to help de-stress.

Animal Attraction

     We have animal companions for all sorts of reasons. Above all it gives us the opportunity to care for another living entity. We like to think we get unconditional love in return but anybody who has ever lived with a cat will know this is not always the case. A cat will, however, give you a great example of how to chill out and relax at the slightest opportunity.

     Even if you live with a cat who wants little physical attention from you, their willingness to flop down in the sun and snooze is a relaxing sight in itself. The bonus is that if you've got the time when you're at home sharing their space, you can synchronize your down time with theirs and take a little nap too.

     The way a cat grabs these opportunities to nap is such a good way to understand that small breaks help us keep stress levels low. If the cat will jump up and sit on you for a few strokes then all the better. It's been scientifically proven that stroking an animal, particularly a purring cat, will lower blood pressure.

It's a Dog's Life

     Dog's are a bit more demanding than cats. Somehow they'll always find a way to end up parked under a hand that may be available to give a few strokes or tickles.

     The added advantage of the dog is that they'll almost certainly always offer you unconditional love. Get the lead from the hook by the door and you'll really see that expressed in a display of excitement and affection. And what a great way to de-stress even more. We now know that the act of walking is a great stress buster and will help us work through mental issues. The fact that the dog prompts us to take a walk is a fantastic opportunity to get out into nature and reconnect with what matters.

Disconnection

     Because our animals have no sense of time or the pressures of a human life, we can disconnect from those same pressures by stepping into their lives. The stress free moments of sitting quietly in a chair and enjoying the sun, stroking a purring cat or walking a faithful dog are no more than a thought away.

    It's no good doing these things and then worrying about the time you're spending doing them. Disconnect from everything else. It pays to practise disconnection in many ways, but meditation and using sounds to clear your mind are two of the best ways to start that process.

Focus on Not Focusing

     That may sound like a bit of a contradiction. To have a clear mind we need to focus our attention on letting go. To relax we have to focus our mind on the parts of our body we want to relax. Our conscious needs to tell our unconscious to let go. We have to give up the idea that we can control everything. We have to learn to focus our attention elsewhere than the the scheduled events of our hectic lives.

     We don't need to be pet owners or animal lovers to enjoy the relaxing effects of an animal's uncomplicated life. If you're in the city look up to the sky and watch the birds. If you're in the country look out at the fields and watch the cows. If all else fails, go to the local aquarium and watch the tropical fish. The energy from their colours will also be pretty amazing!

     Whether we focus on the turmoil of our lives and our problems or whether we clock off for a while (I use that term deliberately) the problems and schedule will still be there after a pause for breath. The difference is that our minds are in a better state to deal with them.

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Jump to It - Motivating with Music

     I recently made a trip to the UK which involved flying from Ireland to Stansted. It's only a short hop between the two countries of Ireland and England but somehow the journey seems to be so much more intricate and troublesome than the equivalent journey I used to make from Germany to the UK. 

     I live about one hour from Cork airport which in itself seems to add a yawning gap onto the start of my travels. I have to get up at around 4am to catch the early flight and this screws up the cat's day. She wanders around me in a daze and, after requesting that I open the front door, she stares at the darkness lurking without and then mews at me resentfully.

   The last time I made this journey she actually left the food untouched that usually causes so much excitement. She silently took up position on the back of the sofa to ignore me and go back to sleep. She didn't even come to see me off as she usually would but just resolutely remained aloof as I collected my bags and made a final check of the house.

     Once I was at the airport there was the usual rigmarole of decanting all my liquids into a see through plastic bag and going through the show trial like escapade of removing my belt, boots, hat and jacket. Having shuffled through the security area like a Guantanamo Bay candidate I started to collect my things. Thank heavens for the genteel lady who gave me a bit of light relief.

     She had allowed her bag to go through the X-ray machine without removing her laptop. It caused a minor blip of excitement in the lives of the security officers who would otherwise no doubt have to endure a seemingly endless day of watching the silhouettes of clean undies pass them by on a TV screen. She was taken to one side and asked why she hadn't removed her laptop to which she innocently replied "It's not a laptop! It's my 'personal computer'!" Bless her!

     I'm used to the calming effect of Tibetan singing bowls and I'm lucky enough to work with music to help people relaxi and achieve inner peace. The feeling of lethargy that abounded in the departure lounge harmonized with that ideal. People seemed relaxed  - but there was an edge to the atmosphere that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

     As the allotted time for my flight approached I made a quick trip to the bathroom - I always like to sit by the window on these short journeys and it's such a nuisance to have to squeeze past people if you get caught short during the flight. So I made my way to the nearest gents.

     Sparing the details, I found myself relieved and standing at the wash basin tapping my foot and singing along to the piped music playing in the background. It was van Halen's Jump. 

     It was irresistible. 

     You just can't help moving to that beat. 

     But what a strange song to be playing in the gents toilet at Cork Airport just before a 8am flight departure! But, actually, no it wasn't. I came out of the toilets with a spring in my step and feeling like I could conquer the world. That's the effect that song has on a lot of people. Just the opening chords with that power synth blazing away are enough to get people up on the dance floor at a wedding disco! Try it yourself. Take a moment to YouTube it and listen...

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     When I sat down to await the call to the gate I realized that the simply hearing this music had completely changed my state. Imagine if you were nervous of flying and you heard this music. For some people, of course, the association of "jump" with "flying" may not be positive but generally it would have a really positive impact on your consciousness. This is the power of music.

     I've had some opportunities to take part in Tony Robbins seminars and in this environment it's quite usual to identify with certain songs and make them triggers to create a desired state. The same is true if you want to relax. You just need to select the right play list to achieve the state you want.

     One of the trademark characteristic of the Tony Robbins seminars is that they take on the energy and vibrance of a rave. There's a good reason for this. When you're in this hyped up and excited state there are all kinds of receptors firing off in your brain that help you feel positive and make you receptive to learning. It releases the endorphins that make us feel good. Exercise, dancing and jumping up and down will do the same thing. Music, however, is a powerful shortcut to turning on this state altering energy. It's like a drug but it's legal and it's free! Who wouldn't want to get high on feeling good?

     I don't know whether it was a conscious choice of music by the authorities at Cork Airport or whether it was a coincidence that morning but thanks to them the atmosphere at the airport that morning was positive and upbeat. Looking around before departure I believe other people felt it too.

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Laughter is the Best Medicine

     Isn't it funny how people say that? "Laughter is the best medicine!" Humour is a very human thing and it's a very personal thing. What can be funny to one individual can be a very distasteful subject to another. Seeing Ardal O'Hanlon on stage in Devon back in the 90s was a refreshing experience for me. Whilst so many standup comedians punctuated their entire routines with the coarsest language you could imagine, Ardal O'Hanlon was entertaining theatres full of people with a totally clean act. It just proved that you didn't need to swear in order to engage and shock people with your humour.

     We're also the product of our parents. We attach some importance to the shared bond of a common sense of humour. If we have a fond memory of a funny event or comedic experience then we're likely to gravitate towards that kind of humour. It's why we remember our parents making jokes that made us groan and we subsequently find ourselves making similar jokes that make the next generation shrink away in embarrassment. Don't worry. Their time will come. 

     I am a victim of the Carry On film era. I still love them and they still make me laugh out loud but, I guess, it's primarily because of the memory of sitting with my family and laughing together. The jokes are not really that good but they still raise a satisfying giggle from deep within me. It was a reality shock when I loaned a copy of Carry On Screaming to a friend and she handed it back a week later, puzzled, and told me that she just didn't get it.

     

     We might question why laughter is medicine at all. By association, the things that make us laugh are things that we like. We like them because they make us feel good. I have a great affection for and attachment to animals. Although they aren't human and can't possibly relate to me on that level, I feel a bond and do the typically human thing of imposing human characteristics on them. I was in the field with the horses recently and Billy, a lovely 18 year old gent, yawned and whinnied in such a way that I started laughing uncontrollably. He humoured me to the extent that he seemed to join in on a very connected level. I'm not sure what, exactly, but something passed between us and it made me laugh. More than that. It made me feel great!

     It's got more to do with the fact that Billy is an animal that I care about that made the episode funnier for me. A similar experience was when I played the concertina recently in Kerry where I have a beautiful partner and an attentive dog companion called Timo. As I played and sang, Timo related in the only way he knew how. He came and sat at a safe distance under the kitchen table and howled along, quite content and undisturbed. In fact, he was so on task that he continued to wail along for a good few minutes after I stopped. His howling made me laugh so much that I was literally crying with laughter by the end. Mrusia, the cat who used to own a fisherman, came and sat at my feet purring! I don't know why she finds the sound of the concertina so reassuring. Maybe her previous human, Pa, played too. The whole comical scene tickled my funny bone so much that it brings a smile to my face even now.

     These things, however, make me feel great. And anything that makes me feel great is good medicine for my body, my mind and therefore by default my soul. It's the same as playing music, meeting friends or walking in nature. The things we enjoy and the things that uplift us are the things we should seek out and do more of.

     Humour and comedy are particularly powerful because they are also so often communal acts. How many times do you watch a funny film or read a funny passage and feel compelled to share it with someone? It's the whole basis on which Facebook exists! Enjoying it in isolation is just not the same. Sharing it is like an outpouring of energy that helps to create the positive vibration. This is an aura that will pervade every level of your life.

     Now that the science surrounding the Laws of Attraction is becoming more common knowledge it should come as no surprise that if we frame our daily experiences with joy and laughter then we'll attract much more of that into our lives. It'll not only help us feel good about our lives but will also help us deal with the ups and downs in a more balanced way.

     The late and great Bill Hicks was a master at imparting this message whilst combining it with his own insightful philosophy on life. I think his message is quite clear. Don't take things too seriously. Love one another. Live in peace and have a laugh.

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The Serenity of Feline Company

     For a while back there I used to have time to meditate for hours on my own. I'd go to my treatment room, where I use Tibetan singing bowls, study, read and relax, and then just find a comfortable position to sit alert and focusing on my inner state. It was quite idyllic and I was quite spoilt. So spoilt, in fact, that when a cat adopted me (yes, you read that the right way around) I found myself suddenly having to adjust my habits and patterns to accommodate a new kind of behaviour.

     We live in such a busy world that it's unusual to find a situation where you can meditate without distractions. Having become accustomed to the silence of West Cork in Ireland and the almost uninterrupted view of fields and mountains, I first found the attention my new feline friend was giving me a bit intense. She loves to sit on my lap of an evening and somehow, to her, the logic of me shutting myself away in a room where she couldn't get access to my strokes and cuddles just didn't make any sense.

     In the midst of my silent meditation I could hear her scratching at the door to come in. When I called to her to stop, she mewed at me in such an incriminating manner that I had to relent and let her in. My original plan had been never to let her into this sanctuary. This was supposed to be a pet free place where visitors who wanted soothing meditation could relax without the overtones of a 'mad cat person' intruding on their inner peace. So what? It would mean having to use the hoover a little more conscientiously before a session. It was a small price to pay to satisfy Pusia and restore some of the former inner balance. She ventured into the room with some trepidation at first (the first time I played the bowls she looked at me like I was a mad man and ran for cover).

     From an animal's point of view, there must have been so many new, exotic and interesting smells. My equipment is brought from the farthest reaches of the Asian world and some of it originates from the incense laden atmosphere of Buddhist monasteries. I watched with interest as she explored, sniffing and jumping at every little creak and crack she heard.

     And then I realized what a great teacher she is. Every moment of anxious shock at a new noise or unexpected movement such as the gong swinging backwards and forwards was greeted with a moment's statuesque type risk assessment and then, once assured there was no danger, a few gestures of absolutely defiant composure such as licking herself or looking nonchalantly around at nothing in particular. It was a very practical example of living in the now. 

     I decided it would do no harm to let her explore further while I meditated. She was, after all, quite content and quiet as long as she was in the same room as me. But then something very magical happened. Quite contrary to being a distraction, Pusia became the focusing force of my attention.

     As I sat down to meditate she stopped her exploration of the room and its contents. As if it was the most natural thing in the world she wandered up to me and curled up in my lap where I sat in a relaxed but alert state. She didn't purr or meow but stared at me and steadily met my gaze. We sat like this for a while as she performed periodic gymnastics before she settled into a comfortable position. Then we spent 20 minutes or so like this for the duration of my calm meditation.

     She wasn't a distraction and she remained perfectly calm until the end of the meditation. Then she got up, arched her back and stretched her legs and wandered off again on, no doubt, important cat business. 

     This episode reminded me that we can't really develop our spiritual practice in isolation. In order to grow and to practise  love, empathy and compassion we have to relate to another living entitiy, human or animal. Pusia made me realize that instead of reducing my contact with the external world to promote my meditational practice it's time to start reaching out again. It's the only way to create the Dharma we need to develop.